A Mothers Pain
by harlequin4ever
Summary: (In collaboration with Karalena Cullen) - After Harleen's return from the grave in over sixty years, things go back to normal. Or do they? Will the twins finally stand up to their parents, and is her little boy all grown up? Will this be the fight to tear them all apart.


When he defied, she was shocked. But that shock wasn't anything compared to her knowing exactly what he was thinking. Of course he had that stubborn streak in him. He was both Bruce /and/ her child for gods sakes! And she took it. Took it all...

He was right after all. To leave them in such a manner, and then come back, like he said, 'swooping back in'. She knew it wasn't going to be the same as it ever was. She knew. But she didn't /want/ to know. She wanted to move on. To let rest when she was let rest. Not bring up and other pain. So she had buried it. Everyone thought she had just...popped back into reality, just like that, without any complications.

But it didn't work like that. She had trouble adjusting back into life. For so many years, she had no physical body; just a consciousness. And now, to have her old body back was such a weird feeling. To love her husband, her children, even friends lost to her. She changed; but for the better.

Spencer's words about /how/ she just came back, not knowing about anyone anymore, how they all /changed/ after she died... He didn't know her battle to try and come back. Making all these deals with the gods; which they refused, relentlessly. It hurt to know that whatever she did, she couldn't do anything.

She had even consulted with Theia. Her words of wisdom kept her from going insane. Up there, watching over her family as it fell apart, slowly, over the years and there wasn't a damned thing she could do about it. Deep down, she was still that scared little girl, crying out for help. And to be loved.

So she just stood there, letting her son speak his mind, his peace, in silence, letting his words sink in. Of course he was right...in a sense. People do change. Especially over more than half a century. She also gave him credit. Knowing he wasn't stupid of any sorts. She /had/ been rather careless, now she thought about it. Coming home all hours... Looking like she'd just gone to war. Not necessarily hiding it from anyone, just not making it known. But what he didn't know was that she was trying to only protect them all. For someone to have all these powers...

She still had to hunt and make sure no one would hurt her family. And still she kept silent. The remark about Bruce slipping out while she was sleeping; that hit home hard. She knew he was up to something. That she was /sure/ of. But over the years, she still /trusted/ him, and knew he would eventually tell her. They /all/ had secrets. Secrets not meant to be shared at all. That's why they are called /secrets/, all in good time. She had faith in them.

But was that how they /all/ felt? She herself felt like an imposter, posing as their mother, his wife. The real woman died long ago. Was she just a bad copy? Doubt filled her. She was probably right. Her eyes glazed over and he kept going. Reminded of herself; it was like she could almost see her standing right there. But his next few words...

Oh, they were the ones to really do some damage. So much so, they sliced at her heart, quite literally. She had to swallow down a whole mouthful of blood. It burnt at the back of her throat, a dry ache, yet the metallic tang on her tongue almost made her vomit right then and there. Her stomach churned, but she forced it back down.

She never raised her kids, especially Spencer to think that all of them were strangers to each other. Everyone knows that you can't have forever to /truly/ known someone. She had a whole life time with Bruce there, either in plain sight or in the background, and /still/ she didn't know /everything/ about him, and vice versa.

Of course he didn't know /everything/ about her, but that didn't mean that they didn't love each other, or were complete strangers. When she said before, dreaming about a son. Desperate and grappling at straws, she still, even now, wouldn't give up in having her children. Not for the world. /This/ was her perfect little family. And still she had managed to fuck it all up. She was so ashamed of herself.

Finally he stood beside his sister. She knew they had been especially close all throughout everything. She was glad then... That at least where she had failed him, which Auri had been there to make sure he was loved and cared for. In that moment, she was very grateful to her daughter and was exceptionally proud in stepping up to such a big task. She did it with grace and she knew how to handle herself. It made her decision a little more easier. Turning her now flat, empty completely grey and lifeless eyes, back to her sons, she eventually managed to move her lips.

"I see how much of a failure I am. Thank you for pointing that out to me, Spencer. But if you feel that way." She was tired, she felt like she had nothing left. Her cares simply diminished. "... I'll give back the powers and my job here, is done. Obviously you don't need me; you've got this sorted out." She held her head up a little higher, flicking her bloodied tongue out to lick at her dry lips. The red stained her lips and she felt like breaking down into tears. Only, none came.

"You are right after all."

And without another word, she vanished, like a whisper in the wind. Her orbing light, usually coloured in a bright blue, like her eyes. The colour of her soul simply was flat grey as she disappeared. The first place she could think of. All alone. No one to feel her pain. No one to see her so broken. The sea breeze ruffled her long dark locks and she fell to her knees atop the green grass of the cliff edge. Then suddenly, she was heaving up all this blood. On her hands and knees, she coughed and spluttered, just throwing up, bright red.

Her stomach tightened so much it hurt and she cried out, landing on her ass. Wiping her mouth, she brought her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. She just sat there, tears just silently flowing down her cheeks, looking out to sea. She would definitely miss this place. Maybe he was right. Maybe it was for the best. She couldn't know. No one could know.

And in that moment, for the first time in her whole life, she didn't want to be on Earth anymore.


End file.
